Psychotherapy with Children

Does your child refuse to obey you, tantrum wildly, or argue about your every request? Maybe social skills are an issue—either with classmates or with siblings or stepparents. Or maybe fate has dealt your child serious adversity in the form of the death of a loved one, serious illness, or a cognitive processing problem that makes special education services a must. My strengths-based approach can help you and your child cope with these and other issues.

When I work with children, I see them alone or with parents, and I also sometimes see the parents without the child.  Therapy frequently involves a combination of parent, individual, and family sessions.

I recognize parents as experts on their children and as captains of the treatment team.  I am your consultant, ready to provide suggestions, ideas, and resources.  I make a cameo appearance in your life, seeing you or your child periodically for an hour at a time. In contrast, you, the parent, are out on the front line daily and engaged for a lifetime.  You, not I, will be the true therapist, testing interventions and telling me which work and which do not.

I ask parents and children both to participate in setting treatment goals, deciding how to reach them, and determining priorities.  I will guide you through the mental health, social service, and educational bureaucracies as well as pointing the way to information about brain diseases, diagnoses, and psychotropic medications.  I encourage children as well as adults to learn how to advocate for themselves. It's important for people to know how to tell others what they want!

I will ask you, the parent, what you need to realize your vision of your family.  I can offer tips on child development, incentives, and discipline as well as help strategizing and locating educational and community resources. I can show you how to ensure that your child gets a fair and appropriate public education.

Psychotherapy with children isn't just about eliminating nightmares. I want children to regard their sessions with me as an opportunity for exploration, self-discovery, and fun learning.  Cultural enrichment also has an important place on the agenda.  The object is to give your child as many successes as possible while building on his or her special talents and strengths.  This approach will help your child become a productive, resilient adult ready to take on challenges and to accept occasional defeats.

Of the children ages five to twelve whom I have seen in the past fifteen years, some have been struggling to accept their parents’ divorce, the death of a relative, or a move to a new home.  Others, angry, have felt punished by bullies or by a one-size-fits-all approach to education. Some are sad, moody and anxious, or panicky and perfectionistic. Some have been referred to me because they are hyperactive, impulsive, or defiant and oppositional at home or at school.  Some suffer from depression or bipolar disorder; some have attentional problems; some have witnessed domestic violence or suffered at the hands of an alcoholic parent. Some have been diagnosed with autism or Asperger’s disorder.  Some have been traumatized by abuse, by removal from their biological parents’ care, by illness or surgery, or by some other form of adversity. I can offer coping strategies and resources in all of these areas.

I also see teenagers. May of them are struggling to establish a separate identity, to win acceptance by peers, to distance themselves from their parents’ mental health issues or unhappy marriage, and to prepare themselves for college or for entry into the workforce.  Teenagers and young adults often struggle with shouldering responsibility, feeling good about themselves, honoring feelings, and setting boundaries with families, lovers, and friends.